You're Not Done Yet: Making Peace with the Past to Embrace the Future

I was in my late 30s when I started running, and I went all in. Treadmill runs at the Y before work, a few miles at the park after work, and long Saturday morning runs. I started entering races and even worked up to doing a half marathon. This went on for a few years. I was so committed, and sometimes I’m still amazed at myself! My runs now are only short bursts here and there during a walk. I’m ok with that, but every single time the thought of “what used to be” runs through my head.

"I used to be able to run miles without stopping and now I can't even run one!"

This is so common. I’ve had clients who used to be amazing swimmers, softball players, and track stars. A client who used to bench over 2-300#, a former gymnast, and a New York City Marathon runner. I love hearing about these amazing accomplishments, but when it comes up in conversation, there’s always that underlying hint of regret. That tone that says, “I used to be great, but now I’m not.”

It’s understandable. We want to stand out, be somebody, be known for great things (even us introverts.) And for a little while, at one point in our lives, we felt we were. It’s not wrong to be proud of our past accomplishments, but we do ourselves a disservice when we keep living in those glory days instead of looking ahead to the future.

You know what happens when I let myself dwell on my running past? I start getting discouraged. My confidence and motivation go down the tubes. That negative voice in my head begins telling me things like, “Look how far you’ve fallen,” and “You’ll never be able to run like that again.” That comparison game with our past is such a trap. We already struggle with not comparing ourselves to others, now we’re going to add in our past selves as well? We can do better.

Instead of allowing past achievements to cause regret, we can use them to push us forward. During my running years, I learned a few lessons. I learned I can actually run, for one! But I also learned lessons about how hard I can push myself and when I need to let myself rest, that setbacks will happen, even slow movement is movement, and losing doesn’t mean I’m a failure. All things I can, and do, use to help me realize new dreams and goals. What did you learn from your past? What can you use to propel you forward?

We could also use a reframe when we start to go down that “I used to” path:

“I used to run marathons, now I’m learning how to move my body in new ways.”

“I used to compete in power lifting, now I’m strength training to stay strong and independent as I age.”

“I’m proud of who I was and excited about who I’m becoming!”

Just because you’re in a different season of life doesn’t mean it’s any less impressive. Growth is always worth celebrating!

Maybe you had some amazing accomplishments back in the day. Well done, you! But your story isn’t over. Take the lessons you learned then and use them to move you forward now. Instead of measuring today against what used to be, ask yourself, “What can I create, achieve, or become now?”

Your best days may not be behind you. Don’t be afraid to let go of the past and find out!

Stay well, my friends.

Alicia