Doing Your Best: Redefining Expectations

“There is never regret in doing your best, which is all any of us can really do. Even if you fail, you'll feel at ease knowing that it wasn't due to the lack of trying.” -Laura Punsu

For most of our lives, we’ve been told to “do our best.” It sounds simple, but that phrase has been twisted into something heavy. Society tells women to look a certain way, raise perfect families, excel at work, volunteer, stay fit, eat clean, manage a household, and do it all with a smile. Then there are the expectations we put on ourselves, unrealistic standards of what we should be doing, how we should look, and how much we should accomplish in a day. It’s exhausting and unreasonable.

Doing your best doesn’t mean doing it all. And it certainly doesn’t mean doing it perfectly.

What “Doing Your Best” Really MeansDoing your best is about showing up with the resources, time, and energy you have in that moment. Some days, “your best” might mean cooking a balanced dinner, slaying a workout, and checking everything off your to-do list. Other days, it might mean managing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and taking a break from the gym because you’re worn out. Both count.

Your best isn’t static. It changes day to day, even hour to hour. The best you can give in the morning may look different from what you’re capable of in the evening. And that’s not failure, it’s just human.

The Guilt TrapMany women carry a backpack full of guilt. We replay past decisions, wondering why we didn’t do better, why we didn’t know more, or why we couldn’t keep up. But here’s something we forget: we did the best we could with what we had at the time.

There’s no reason to feel guilty for what you didn’t know then. Growth means you know more now. That doesn’t make your past effort less valuable. It means you’ve learned, and that’s something to be proud of.

I’ve spent too many years beating myself up for things I would like to have done differently in my life. From things I’ve said, relationships I’ve gotten into, poor choices, and missed opportunities. I have to remind myself that in every one of those situations, I did the best I could with the knowledge, awareness, and resources I had at the time. And it was enough.

Giving Yourself GraceIf a good friend came to you and said, “I tried so hard today, but I didn’t get everything done,” you wouldn’t put her down for not doing enough. You’d probably say, “You had a rough day. Give yourself some credit for what you were able to do.”

Why is it so hard to extend that same grace to ourselves? Self-compassion is an act of strength, not a sign of weakness. It allows us to recover, reset, and keep moving forward. Mistakes, setbacks, and even exhaustion are all part of being human. Instead of seeing them as failures, what if we saw them as opportunities to learn, adjust, and grow?

Redefining Success on Your Own TermsSuccess doesn’t always look like the Instagram version of life we see online. Sometimes, success is simply getting through a tough day with your head held high. Sometimes it’s choosing rest when your body is begging for it. Sometimes it’s saying no to something that drains you, even when you feel pressured to say yes.

For women in midlife and beyond, success often shifts. It’s not about proving yourself to the world anymore; it’s about living in alignment with your values, your health, and your peace of mind. Small wins matter. They add up to a life of resilience and strength.

Practical Ways to Live This Out

• Check in daily. Ask yourself, “What does my best look like today?” Some days you’ll push harder; some days you’ll scale back. Both are valid.

• Release comparison. Your best will look different from someone else’s best, and that’s okay. This isn’t a cookie-cutter life, and we are all different.

• Recognize seasons. Life comes in waves; some seasons are for growth, others for rest. Don’t expect the same energy and output year-round.

• Say no without guilt. Protect your energy. You don’t owe anyone overextension.

A Gentle ReminderYou’ve spent decades carrying responsibilities, taking care of others, and showing up in countless ways. You don’t have to prove your worth, you already have. Your best today may not look like your best 20 years ago, and that’s okay. In fact, that’s wisdom.

Doing your best isn’t about striving for constant achievement. It’s about showing up honestly, giving what you can, and letting that be enough, because it is.

Give Yourself Permission to Be HumanLet’s drop the “superwoman” myth. We don’t need capes or endless energy to be worthy. We just need to be present, real, and kind to ourselves.

Doing your best is a practice, not a finish line. Some days will fare better than others, but each one holds value. Remember this: Your best is always enough, because it’s yours.

Stay well, my friends,

Alicia