You're More Disciplined Than You Think

People often tell me, “You’re so disciplined!” or “I wish I had as much self-discipline as you!” From the outside, my life may look pretty structured. I have a fairly regular sleep routine and am usually up early, with consistent workout routines, and diet. But it’s not because I was born with some magical, superhuman willpower. It’s because I’ve learned how to discipline myself in those areas. This basically evolved from a need to feel in control in an effort to stop my anxiety from spiraling. It’s paid off in countless other ways, but my point is that I developed discipline.

You see discipline isn’t something you’re born with. (Ever see a self-disciplined toddler?) It’s a skill anyone can learn. And if you want to make lasting changes in your life, it’s an essential skill.

Good news! You already have more discipline than you realize.

Interestingly, people seem to have plenty of discipline when something matters to them. They get up early for work because they want a paycheck. Kids are chauffeured to school and sports with no problem. Women achieve amazing weight loss for their weddings or reunions. These are all proof that discipline is available when needed; we just need to learn how to direct it to other areas of our lives.

But why is it so hard?

Discipline often feels like a struggle when there is no immediate payoff. We live in a world that gives immediate gratification with the click of a button. I’m not complaining about being able to order from Amazon 24/7, but it’s made us a very impatient society. It usually takes about three months before seeing results from a regular workout routine. That can be daunting and makes it hard to stay disciplined week after week.

You may also struggle from a lack of clarity around your Why. You may know you need more discipline around diet and exercise but really don’t know what you’re working towards or why. A vague desire will not keep you disciplined but a strong Why will keep you going when motivation fades.

Another challenge is staying disciplined when you’re tired or overwhelmed. When I’m running on very little sleep I am way less likely to eat right or get my workouts done. Likewise, when I’ve taken on too many projects. If your sleep is out of whack and you are consistently overwhelmed because you can’t set clear boundaries, then it’s going to be difficult to try to establish discipline in other areas.

Now what?

So, if discipline is a skill that we all can learn then what are the actions we need to take to have more discipline in the areas that we want to improve?

Change your mindset. Change “I have no discipline” to “I’m learning and becoming more disciplined each day.” Self-talk is more powerful than you realize. Stop telling yourself what you are not and begin telling yourself that you are a strong person capable of learning new things. Because you are.

Find your Why. It’s hard to stay disciplined if we don’t have a good reason. For instance, one of the reasons I want to be healthy and strong is Scott. We found each other later and life and we want many more adventures in the years ahead! It might sound corny to others, but it’s one of the things that drives me each day. So, why do you want to get healthy? Why do you want to live longer? You may have several Why’s and none of them have to make sense to anyone else. This is YOUR journey.

Keep it simple. Remember how being overwhelmed can derail our discipline? Whatever action you are trying to establish make it very doable. Try 3-minute actions, micro habits, or just showing up. In B.J. Foggs’ book Tiny Habits he talks of breaking down habits into ridiculously easy steps. For example, do one pushup, take a five-minute walk, or drink one glass of water. Staying disciplined is much easier with small actions, and small actions turn into big changes.

Set reminders. How do you get up in the morning to go to work? You set an alarm. How do you remember your doctor’s appointments? You put it on the calendar. Do the same thing for your new actions; set alarms or reminders, write them down, whatever works for you. Since I struggle with being disciplined around sleep, I have a reminder on my phone that tells me to start getting ready for bed. Without that I would be up reading or watching TV for hours.

Be patient with yourself. You wouldn’t expect yourself to learn a new language in a day or a week, learning discipline will be no different. You will have good days, bad days, and everything in between. Give yourself some grace for being human and keep going. You think I get it right every day? Hardly. I just remind myself what Scarlett O’Hara said, “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

The next time you catch yourself saying, “I just don’t have any discipline,” I want you to stop and remember that you do. You’ve shown it in so many ways already. Now it’s just about learning how to develop and apply it in other areas.

Discipline isn’t about being rigid and perfect. It’s about showing up every day, for yourself and for the life you want to live. You are stronger than you think, and every small, consistent step adds up.

Stay well, My Friends

Alicia