The Spiral of Anxiety

Scattered

That’s how I feel today. My head is all over the place. Thoughts are flying out as quickly as they fly in. There is a vague sense of dread and being off balance. No reason. Just off.

Anxiety is odd like that. There isn’t always a discernible reason. When it happens, it can make you feel as if things are going wrong when everything is fine. Your body senses danger that doesn’t exist and goes into survival mode.

You may have heard it called the fight, flight, or freeze response. Anger has been a common reaction to my anxiety (fight). I have ignored it or pretended it wasn’t happening (flight). Many times, I let anxiety completely shut me down (freeze). None of these have been helpful.

I won’t pretend I don’t still fall back into those patterns but over time I have learned better ways of coping. When I realize I’m starting to head into that anxious spiral there are a few things that help me calm down.

By the way, I don’t think there’s a better word for that feeling than spiral. With an anxiety attack, my thoughts feel like water funneling down a drain. I get caught up in that spiral, going down faster and faster. Trying to go against that current seems impossible. I also have a fear of drains, so that may be why this analogy works so well for me.

First, I ask myself if there is a real, tangible fear. Am I worried about something coming up? Have I forgotten something that needs to be done? Am I obsessing over something that already happened? I’m good at that one and can do it subconsciously.

If any of those cases are true, then I can ask myself; Is there anything in my control that needs to be done? If not, then I keep reminding myself that I’ve done all I can do. Just going through this process gives me a sense of control and is enough to turn things around.

What about when there’s nothing wrong, like today?

I breathe. Anxiety steals the breath away. Literally. Deep breathing calms my heart and my mind.

I remind myself that anxiety is normal but that sometimes mine is out of proportion to the situation. In other words, I know things are not as bad as they seem.

I know that “this too shall pass.” It always does. Kind of like the weather. Just wait a bit, it’ll change.

It’s not always possible, but when I can I get outside. I go find some water or trees and birds and stare at them for a while. It always helps.

Journaling my thoughts has a way of bringing order to the chaos. Writing this out has helped. I feel a little more focused and grounded.

I also remember that I’m not alone. I appreciate those of you who have shared your own issues with anxiety. Thanks for the honesty and the company. I feel that when we share our struggles and pain it diminishes their power over us.

I think I’ll go outside, sit with the birds, and breathe for a while.

Stay well, my friends.

Alicia