The Path of Least Resistance

It’s human nature to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance, the shortcut. Our bodies and our brains are designed for efficiency. Our default setting is to find an easier way to do it (whatever “it” is), to

expend less energy, and to save time. There’s nothing wrong with making our lives easier. The problem comes when we consistently choose what’s comfortable over what might help us grow.

Finding the shortest route back to the cave from hunting made sense. It would have helped keep us safe by conserving energy and getting us away from predators before dark. Our ancestors didn’t worry about getting their steps in. Finding the closest parking space to the grocery store is still saving energy but most of us could probably use the walk.

Listening to a 30 second video of someone telling us how to think is easy. We can just take those snippets of information and feel like we have all the answers. Doing deeper research on our own takes time and brain power. And often we end up realizing how little we know and how much more we need to learn. Which isn’t a bad thing, it just means we have to work even harder to make sense of it all.

If we’re willing to take shortcuts with our bodies and with our thinking, it’s not surprising that we sometimes do the same thing with our relationships. And it often means we go one of two ways.

Stay away from deep relationships altogether or...

Surround ourselves with people that think like us.

Steering clear of getting involved makes perfect sense if we’re trying to conserve emotional and mental energy. People are difficult, messy, and have way too many issues. We should know, right!? So much easier to just forget the whole thing. The downside? We need them. Research has shown that meaningful human connection plays an important role in our physical and mental health. We’re social creatures, after all. (Even us introverts.)

Surround ourselves with people that think isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's comfortable and they get our jokes. All kidding aside though, having relationships with people who share our values can provide a much-needed support system. The problem occurs when we never allow ourselves to move outside of our like-minded bubble; an insulated world where our beliefs never get questioned and our opinions are constantly validated.

We forget there are millions of people out there with just as many different ideas and opinions. And while it’s easy to listen to someone who agrees with everything we believe, it’s a lot harder to sit across from someone who sees the world completely differently and try to understand where they are coming from.

Neither of these options, closing ourselves off or surrounding ourselves with like-minded people, is wrong. But when they become ways of avoiding anything that challenges us, we may be missing out on opportunities for growth.

Is there a third option?

Yes, but it is not the path of least resistance by any stretch. It takes some effort, a little courage, and a willingness to step outside our comfortable bubble. It’s reaching out; to people that we don’t know, people that are different from us. It’s getting to know them, listening to their stories, opinions, and points of view. It’s genuinely trying to understand how they came to their perspective. Not to convince them they’re wrong. Not to defend ourselves. Just to understand.

Difficult, I know, and the risks are high. We might get rejected or hurt. We might hear things we don’t want to acknowledge. We might have our entire world turned upside down. But we might also discover something we hadn’t considered before. We might even change our minds. Or maybe we don’t. But we get to see the world through someone else’s eyes. What a gift!

It can be interesting where our journey takes us. This started as a post about the health benefits of human connections (and there are many) but as often happens, it went in a little different direction. Maybe that’s the point. We don’t always know where the road will lead us. But if we never allow ourselves to wander off the beaten path, we’ll never know what we might have discovered.

Stay Curious, my Friends.

Alicia