Scrolling Through Life: How Much Are You Missing?

I have such good intentions. One of them being: Don’t look at the phone for at least an hour in the morning. How hard can that be? Some mornings are harder than others and today it went something like this:

(Looking at Sissy) I bet she is probably due for a rabies vaccine; better check her records. I see two notifications on Facebook. Just a quick look to see if it’s anything important. No, just random stuff.... Oh wait! You can rent a Navajo hogan near Monument Valley? Oooh, interesting! Where exactly are they located, and how much do they cost? I’ll just skim through the comments and see what people are saying. We’ve got a vacation coming up. I should check the dates again and figure out what to do about the animals. Hey! I just remembered I have a gift card to Landry’s restaurants. Is there even one close by? Maybe we should look at taking a weekend to the coast. I haven’t been to Kemah in years. What would a weekend down there cost us?

At this point, I realized my brain had taken two left turns and got stuck in a roundabout. It took me ten minutes to remember why I picked up the phone in the first place.

I remember living perfectly fine without a phone that has more capabilities than I’ll ever learn, but I sure have gotten used to the convenience. Being able to take 3458 pictures of my cat in random cat poses. Oops, hang on, make that 3459. He’s just so cute! I also like checking the community page to find out if anyone else heard the loud boom, and my favorite is being able to find out who that actor was playing Soldier #3 in Rawhide, because he looks very familiar. Important stuff.

Yeah, it's safe to say I like my phone, but I have to wonder what I’m losing in exchange for the convenience. Is it affecting my ability to focus as I hop from one post or blog to another? What about my memory skills? I'm not sure they were ever above par, to begin with, but are they getting worse because I can look things up so easily?

Even if I’m not losing memory or focus, I’m losing time. The average American spends roughly 4 hours and 30 minutes on their phone a day (some surveys say higher). After I read that, I had to go check my time just to see how I measured up. It’s not good. A good bit is business, so I’m ok with that, but how much of the rest is wasted time? “Wasted time” is relative to the person, and I don’t mind playing around on my phone here and there. It’s entertainment, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t like it when I look up and an hour (or several) has mindlessly passed because I got caught up watching reels or reading comments on a post. By the way, if you’re curious about your usage, for iPhone, go to Settings, then Screen Time. It breaks down your daily/weekly averages, app usage, etc. Eye-opening.

Americans open their phones about 160 times a day. I may be close on that one, I do check it often. Employees waste almost an hour a day on their phones with non-work activities. I bet that number is higher, but people just aren't admitting to it. Almost 75% of users say they are addicted to their phones. Believable. Nomophobia is the fear of being away from your phone. According to one survey, half of all users reported moderate symptoms of nomophobia, and 13% reported severe symptoms. That’s a lot of anxiety over a phone. It’s not the only way our mental health is taking a hit from phone use. Teens who spend five or more hours on their phones a day are over 70% more likely to exhibit signs of suicidal behavior than those who spend an hour. I know that the longer I spend on social media, the worse I feel about myself.

Do you wonder if your phone is damaging your relationships? Looks like it could be. Almost 20% of parents report spending more time with their phones than with their children. A little less than half of cellphone users would rather give up sex for a year than go without their phone. What?! I guess it’s not surprising, then, that almost a third of users say they spend more time with their phones than with their lovers. Ouch! What’s worse, having an affair with a real person or an electronic one? I’m gonna go with neither. If this is your relationship, somebody needs to put the phone down.

What do we do with this information? You may decide that none of this bothers you in the least. You don’t have a problem with how much you use your phone. Great. Well done, you. But for those of us who feel cutting back might be a good idea, how do we go about that? I’ll give you some ideas. Use what works for you.

Set limits. Set limits on your phone through your settings or use an app to track your usage. Pick a set amount of time, and when you’re done, you’re done. You could even set aside one day a week to completely unplug. I know it can be done. Scott and I have camped with no service, and we didn’t die. It takes about a day to get used to, but then you look up and realize there’s a whole world out there waiting to be discovered.

Turn off unnecessary notifications. Every time we see our phone light up, we open it up. That very easily leads to a few minutes to hours of wasted time. And while you’re at it, turn off vibration mode. You don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings, and you don’t have to see every message the second it comes in. Really.

No phones during dinner, dates, or any time you want to interact and build relationships with other people. Put it on silent and in a bag or another room. This is especially true for your spouse and kids. It’s respectful and less tempting.

Stop carrying your phone to the bathroom. For one thing, it’s just nasty. And, if you have to spend that much time on the toilet that you need stuff to read, you need a laxative more than your phone.

Buy an alarm clock and leave the phone in another room. Ok, this is one I need to do. I’m not sure why I have to check the time if I wake up in the middle of the night, but I do. If there is a message on my phone, I’m tempted to read it. I seem to have a lot of late-night friends, but I don’t think any of them will be offended if I wait to text them back the next day.

Speaking of leaving the phone in another room, try it at other times of the day. Many of us have the habit of checking our phones at the first hint of boredom. It will be less likely if it’s out of reach. Our laziness to go get the phone might just trump our desire to check Instagram.

Find something else to occupy your time. What else could you be doing besides checking your phone? Journaling, reading, or talking to the people around you? I realize that many of us read and journal on our phones, but if you are trying to get away from the temptation of opening other apps, then this might be a good time to go back to old-fashioned paper books and journals.

The older I get, the more I realize how short our time is on this earth. Every moment we waste on our phones is a moment that could be spent with people we love, learning about ourselves, or exploring the world around us. I started this laughing at myself for getting lost once again in the black hole of my phone, but reading the stats and seeing my own usage has been a little sobering. I’m going to be a little more mindful of my phone use. After all, I’ve got things to do!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you feel you’re addicted to your phone? Do any of these ideas appeal to you, or do you have some other ideas that might work?

Stay well, my friends, and let’s not waste a single moment.

Alicia