It's Ok to Change Your Mind

One of my greatest strengths is my ability to stay the course once I commit to something.

When I decided to run a half marathon, I set a schedule and never wavered. I ran through sweltering July afternoons, hard autumn rains, and cold mornings in November. If I had to run at 5 am before work or 7 pm in the evenings, that’s what I did. When that schedule said run, I ran. That ability to stay the course paid off. I was able to run across that finish line with a huge smile on my face.

One of my biggest challenges is that once I commit to something, I feel obligated to see it through, even when it’s obviously the wrong path.

I decided to get married within a very short time of meeting my second husband. Red flag after red flag waved in front of me. I disregarded the times my wishes were completely dismissed.  Glossed over how I was treated when he didn’t get his way. Ignored my instincts that said he was lying time and time again. All because I made a commitment and felt I couldn’t back out. That single-minded dedication to seeing things through sent me into an abusive marriage and years of recovery.

Two sides of the same coin. Is it a character strength or a character flaw? It can be both.

On the one hand, dedication and perseverance are admirable qualities. On the other hand, it’s also admirable to be able to admit when it’s time to change direction.

People, yourself included change. The people you thought were friends are cutting you down behind your back. The career you went to school for is not your passion anymore. The dream guy may have turned into an abusive nightmare.

Circumstances change. That perfect job you took two years ago may be high stress now. The neighborhood you live in doesn’t suit your family anymore. The activities you started for fun are becoming a burden instead of a way to relax.

If something or someone isn't serving your best interests anymore, it’s ok to change your mind and change your situation.

Will it be hard? Possibly. Will you flounder at first? Maybe. Can it be embarrassing? Yes. Will others think you are crazy, get mad, or laugh at you? Very likely. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you.  

I wish someone had told me this a long time ago. So, I’m telling you now.

It’s ok.

It’s ok to change your mind. It’s ok to change course. It’s ok to say I made a mistake and I’m going to correct it now. It’s ok to say this just doesn’t suit me anymore.

Until next time,

Alicia